"Yeh, gentrification can be a real bitch."
"Don’t look at me like that, you’re messing me up."
"Right but I get to check on how smashed you are first, because that’s usually the cause of seeing spots the way I’ve experienced it," He answered in response as he took another bit and chewed thoughtfully. "So tell me something, whut’s brought you out this town? Escape or work?"
"I can’t stay in one place too long, it catches up to me. That, or I accidentally gentrify the neighborhood. Crowley problems."
"See now that’s fair,” He said with a laugh. ”Funny thing is, I watch a lot of bloody cooking shows because nothing to do during the day, and for someone who doesn’t have to eat? I enjoy it.”
Crowley started cutting his steak. “Alright, I’ll just dive right in, but if I start seeing spots in five minutes, I get to say I told you so.”
"Oh… someone’s all huffy that neither of got the other’s idea of funny," He said sawing his knife through another portion of steak and gesturing with it on the end of his fork. "Don’t take it to heart. Really, the royalty bit doesn’t do much f’me because I didn’t like myself being all proper all the time. It’s more fun t’be crass."
"It was less about royalty, more about having no faith in your ability to cook."
"The curse of this place, nothing feels exactly wrong or right any longer."
"I think we’ve got past the part of drinking where it’s fun. The only solution is to drink out way out." Crowley pours himself another drink. "I know. We’ll thing positive. Talk about our accomplishments." He raised his glass to toast himself. "I killed Batman! The real, actual Batman. That makes me the new Batman.”
He paused, “Right maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words but… steak’s fine, why?”
"Because I’m gonna have it. That was the joke from the beginning, mate. I was kidding when I asked you to taste the steak.”
"Fine, fine… couldn’t really choke to any detriment anyway. No need to breathe so no gag reflex," He rolled his eyes but let it go. "I"m pretty good at eating even without the need to. I like the taste, the smell, the whole experience."
He popped a bit of lettuce into his mouth with his fingers.
"Yes, yes, you’re lovely at so many things that don’t require a gag-reflex. How’s the steak?"
"Well I was amused, sorry if it irked you— You really think I’d have poisoned anything?" He asked.
"I don’t know. That wasn’t the point, anyway. I’m a little out of practice with food. But pretending to choke to death isn’t fun. Not when you do it, anyway. Do you get what I’m saying yet? Do I have to film a documentary?”
"True, but not as funny," He smirked cheekily then softened, "Oh, come on… you knew I wasn’t gonna drop from something I made myself, right?"
"Forgive us if we continue to be not amused."